Moving internationally - AFTER the move!
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I can’t believe it’s been 8 months since I’ve moved to Bangkok from Kyoto. Thinking about that time frame actually gives me goosebumps, because in that time, I feel like I’ve been living different lives.
Upon arrival, we moved into a hotel, which made an easy transition. Housekeeping, laundry, logistics - it was all taken care off. I only had to concentrate on the children and settling them into their new school routines. After a few months though, we started house hunting and we consequently moved, which brought new challenges but also fun and excitement. To complement our household, we also adopted a dog! But then - only 1.5 months after we moved in, summer holidays started and the kids and myself travelled to our home in the Netherlands. Coming back after 6 weeks, we busied ourselves with visitors, camp and a last hooray at the beach before school started again. Pretty busy first half year of 2022! So now that September has started, I feel like finally we’re getting to live our ‘real new life.’
A bit of miscalculation on my side: I thought moving back to a place we’d lived before, would be a lot easier than moving to a completely new country and city. And to be fair - in some ways it definitely was. We already knew the ins and outs of Bangkok and were aware of pain points like the traffic. But living somewhere with a toddler and a baby is completely different from living with 3 elementary school children ánd a dog in a different part of the city. And apart from logistical and family changes, I hadn’t counted on the mental and bodily challenges.
Safe to say that, although I’ve been super happy about being back here, I still went through different phases of change. Included in these (for me) were the ‘honeymoon’ phase, grieving the life I’d lost, feeling guilty about all that I left behind, frustration about cultural things in my new country of residence, and acceptance (and gratefulness!) that this is my new life.
In conclusion: it doesn’t matter where you move, how far, or for what reason - moving is HARD. It is not to be taken lightly. I will probably take you 6 to 12 months to truly be at home in your new home. And you have a right to all the feels that might come up.
Here are my top tips to make an easier transition once you’ve arrived at your new destination:
1) Make time to do fun things first.
Especially when you have children, the first impression is so important. Leave the luggage for what it is, wait a moment before setting a strict routine. Just go and do something that is fun for you and your family. For us here, it was definitely swimming and eating mango and sticky rice. No pressure, just being together and experiencing a little of the new local flavor of life.
2) Get enough sleep.
It is tempting to do everything, experience everything and arrange everything perfectly straight away. The truth is though: you have time. Make sure you sleep, not just because it is important for your health, but also because no one can be their best on low energy and it is easier to fall into bad habits when you’re tired.
3) Sign up for things - even if they’re out of your comfort zone.
One of the first women I met here in Bangkok told me about this gym she went to where they did group training, and I went with her the next day and joined the training program. It is not exactly my cup of tea (with my bad knee and all), but the fun & community it brought me, were definitely worth it. I found my tribe of likeminded women there, I met my life coach and I made some great friends. So worth it.
4) Connect online.
Both on Facebook and Instagram I connected with several different groups and found friends and information that way. Not only school or ‘mommy’ groups, but also general expat groups, women’s circles, and freelancer / digital nomad groups. Now that I have a dog, I connected to a Pet group to find out where to go and take my dog in Bangkok. It is a fabulous way to connect if you’re more of an introvert. Second hand groups are also great for finding things you need for your household, and if you’re lucky you meet some great neighbors at the same time! It’s happened to me LOL!
5) Ask for help.
People love to help people. So if you’re stuck, or looking for something - ask. Don’t be shy or waste time finding the answer yourself. Just ask. Pretty soon after I moved, I noticed that the way I was feeling mentally and in my body was not normal, and I set myself a timeframe to see if it would change. It didn’t, and straight away I sought out help from a naturopath, a doctor, and other alternative sources like acupuncture and sound healing. Moving is a big change, not just for your body but also your mind.
6) Find time for yourself and do nothing.
This sounds like a no-brainer, but it’s what helps me most. To be with myself, to let my thoughts float, and be at peace. This doesn’t have to be yoga or meditation (but it can of course!). For me it’s taking naps with music or a hypnotherapy session in my ears or taking a walk with my dog and noticing all the things outside.
